Wow! Suzie Ends Racism by Posting Black Box!

On Tuesday June 2, Suzie Coleman (C '22) ended racism once and for all by posting a black box and the hashtag #BlackOutTuesday on her Instagram and Twitter. "I just want to make space for Black voices, so I want to be clear that I WILL NOT be posting today," she wrote in her post. 

"If you want to talk about anything, I'm totally open to it, so PLEASE dm me and we can talk there," she continued, desperate to share her "Raisin Bran for breakfast!" Tweet, but restraining for the sake of the cause. 

Little did she know, but her post was exactly what the world needed. Within a minute of posting, racial tensions diminished, equality was reached, and people all over the world began to sing a song that had never been sung. Thanks to the honorable work of Suzie Coleman, racism was finally cured.

"I wasn't planning on ending racism, it just kind of happened," reported Coleman. "To be honest, I didn't even know that #blackouttuesday was a thing until I went on Instagram that morning," admitted Coleman, "but looking back, I'm glad I checked social media, if I didn't we could be living in a very different world today." 

In response to Coleman's posts, all protests have been cancelled. "Protests just aren't important any more. I mean, what would we even be protesting? Racism is over," declared the head of the Black Lives Matter Movement. Due to her contribution to society, Coleman, is a likely candidate for the next Nobel Peace Prize. Congratulations, Suzie, and thank you for amazing work!